It’s the great Singapore sales, and I’ve been spending a bit too much for my own good. Maybe it’s because I haven’t been shopping for a long period of time, and is willing to fork out a bit more for things I like. I have overdone that though, and regrettably cower back into my saving mode again.

I hope I have more self control the next time I see a nice dress, coz I realize how wonderful a dress is. I don’t have to think of what to match it with every time before I go out. Like this color doesn’t match that color or what so ever. Coz a dress is all it is. Totally suit my lazy self and save me lots of my brain cell on what not to match.

I think from now on, I will buy more dress to fill up a portion of my wardrobe. Provided I have enough Vitamin M.

Suppose to be meeting 2 goons for shop eat drink session tomorrow, but the blackie was given extra emergency work to do and have to go back to her stinky work place. (stinky because it spoils my Saturday) Pam like me on the other hand, has already used up most of her Vitamin M although not very surprisingly too, knowing her (who am I to talk anyway). And me, prefer to laze at home the whole day and maybe do some laundry since we’re only likely to make it for dinner if any outing is even possible. Plus the great Singapore sales will be keeping my busy for the next 2 weeks due to the nature of my job too. So better laze while I still have the chance, not to mention the uninvited aunty. More reason I should just laze at home. Plus I can prevent creating a big hole in my purse, why not.

Just when I feel a tad guilty when sms-ing Pam about calling off the dinner. I found out she had already the same idea even before I msg-ed her, great mind thinks alike. More importantly, I have no need to feel guilty about anything. Cheers.

Aside from all these, I think I am going to have a terrible night tonight, Moo didn’t manage to get a hold of my much needed pink panadols ( don’t usually help much but ease me enough to help me sleep better ) and the 7-11 which I checked near my house didn’t have it too, wth, and it was too late for cold storage.

May I feel well enough to sleep tonight and dream my usual recent dreams about playing with dogs.

I was very very young. She was an auntie’s friend.

She has a big home with huge garden and back yard. I remember the huge dog which she locks up in a big cage when I was there all the time. Probably didn’t want to scare us, the little kids then.

She lets the small furball like dog play with my sister and I didn’t really get near them anyway, coz I was still afraid of dogs.

I soon forgot about all those, because those things are insignificant. Just a usual aunties chatting etc while I was bored shit hell.

It wasn’t too long after, maybe 2 years or so. That I overheard the aunties talking about that big black dog in the cage.

She was at work when her mother sense that something was wrong with the big black dog. It looks like it is struggling heavily. Trying to breathe or trying to live, or both. Her mother gave her a call at work and she rushed down from work and reaches her home.

Upon her very arrival, the big black dog lifted his head to have a last look at her… finally died.

Assumption is a magical thing. It comes in many different forms. Some can be hostile, some can be friendly, some lead to a path to victory, some can be hidden traps, some can be kind, and these are just some of the very core of assumptions.

At times, it can be such a pain in the ass too. Especially when three criteria meets.

- When someone made an assumption about you and it is totally wrong

- When that assumption about you doesn’t benefit you at all or it may even put you in a bad position

- When he made such an assumption but is so damn well sure that he is right like he is born out of your very brain. Especially when he adds in the “because he is older then you thus definitely more experience, enough to assume everything and be right about everybody.”

(not like they will tell you every time but you pretty much can feel the vibe they are giving out already)

I am sure you’ve met such people, many of us have. It is just part of living as you can’t exactly expect countries to be grouped by the type of people living in them. Even if that’s the case, people do travel.

The lucky thing about it is that, some people just couldn’t be bothered.

“Assume all you want, it’s none of my business what you think of me because I don’t give a damn.”

This kind of mentality is to be admired, if done in a practical manner.

Sometimes though, things may not be as unaffecting as it is. Sometimes it can be a heart breaking experience. Sometimes it can even lead to your very own destruction because you are unaware of what assumptions can really lead to. In this case, it is also a very dangerous thing that you should be caution of.

And because of the type of damage if could do to people. There are plenty out there who’d use it to their own benefit. Doing little things on purpose and repeatedly, drawing a picture of yourself in other people’s mind, and then use his assumption of you to your best. I assume that most of them who do that, do that for survival, nothing bad. It turns bad when this little action of ours brings unfortunate events to others.

The funny thing is, it did give a vague idea of how this magical think took part in the rottenizing of the world throughout.

Looking on the bright side, they are not only used for selfish reasons. Although it can be argued that doing things only for the benefit of people you care are a kind of selfishness too. But you know? You probably need to start appreciating such little kindness that is left in this world if not, there would probably be nothing much left for you to appreciate in the near future.

For assumptions in a kinder form, it usually is very much linked to stupidity. You make positive assumptions in order to give another person a 2^nd chance. Sometimes, this leads to your own failure. At times, the person appreciate your positive thinking and he path you a way to success with his ability.

Many times, the same type of “kind assumptions” may be a key to prevent many many sparks that leads to unrecoverable unhappiness. It really depends on whether or not you are able to see the big picture at that very second you’re about to assume something. Unfortunately, most of us do not have the ability to do that as it is human nature. It is only when undesirable things happen that you see your past thoughts and realized that you shouldn’t have made that triggering assumption.

Do not conclude that kind assumptions will only lead to positive things though. Sometimes the nature of different people are to be taken into consideration.

Say, an extremely prideful person may be humiliated if kindness was given to their failure. They would rather do the infamous jap thing to pierce through their tummy with a dagger and die.

Obviously an exaggerating example.

It doesn’t change the fact that sometimes, your kind nature to assume what people need may in turn be a step to their own destruction, or your own.

Or a martyr may assume that loyal subjects should die for their country, naturally. They might expect that everyone do the same happily. Is that really true? Is otherwise unnatural?

The question is, living in a world full of it. What is the best way for you to live happily? Is it selfishness after all? Or is it foolishness?

Yesterday, both my and my cousin had assumptions about each other's sense of direction. It simply just lead us to no where. literally.

Let’s not think about money and think about what kind of rooms u like to have if you have many bedrooms in your house.

Kitchen is unimportant to me coz I seldom cook. Even if I do, it might not be edible anyway.

Balcony is a must.

I want my flat to be at a high level.. so roaches can’t reach me.

Other than that it’s all about decorating rooms ^^ if structure is not an issue… I wish my rooms to be like….

There are a few reason why clubs are there for you to go when you want to party. One of them would be so that your neighbors who’d like to have some peace won’t have to go along with the loud music you enjoy at that moment.

It was 2 + am, with my windows closed. I can hear music from god knows where. I can’t tell coz the music seems to be from everywhere. “ Love comes again”, “I know you want me” etc. Yes I even know what titles they are playing. I can probably dance along if I had the mood.

Unfortunately for them, I don’t. So I decide to do what an evil person would. Spoil their fun by calling the friendly neighborhood police.

They police came at the 1^st round at about 2:50 am I think. The music stop for a while, and came back on at 3:10 am. I was annoyed although not unexpected. I called the friendly neighborhood police again to inform them about the joyful party again that started probably not too long after the police left.

It appears that I am right, the 2^nd time I called triggered the 3^rd “resource” they dispatch to my area. I am not the only one who complained. I am sure they will continue until the police arrive, coz of their partying voices.. those familiar “oohhooouuuoohhwooowoowo” sound when every party-er makes for the kick of it. They were full of battery all the time the music was on. Maybe the friendly neighborhood police was really too friendly that’s why they need three dispatch.

Finally after a while, I hear some silence.

It was followed by some more “oohhowooouuowowohooooohhhoo” but this time, I can tell that those voice isn’t the sound from hype. Rather that “oohhowooouuowowohooooohhhoo” means “tmd which bloody idiot complain our music, cannot enjoy now, everyone here so fun and happy, why must they complain, the police is so uncool, tomorrow is Sunday!!! We should party!!! Tmd… don let me find that idiot who complained or I will chop him/her to death. Must be some aunties around. Wah lao.. the police so efficient for what. Come here three times, I really on music one time they come one time. Freaking tmd kn#%^#$%^$%” etc etc.

In their anger and disappointment, I finally find my peace.

I am off to sleep.

Is it stupid to hate someone that you resemble?

In character and in sense.

In a way, do I have the right to hate him?

I believe in the same things he does.

Though I believe I am slightly more humane.

That does not give me the right does it?

Three years ago, she was only hearing about him from her elder brother. About a school buddy who scream watching horror movie. About this, and that, about that particular guy. They started to chat online. After a while, they could talk about anything, everything. Being lame, funny, maybe being a little sensitive at times. It was such enjoyable time.

It seems they were the best buddies of all time. She and Him…

As time passes, she realized something is changing. Slowly, every time she sees him online she will be happy, and it makes her day.

It’s been a while that she finds that being able to talk to him is a wonderful thing. Little did she expect that an extra heart beat add in to her happy mood when he comes online after more time has passed.

She did realized that it might have been a different type of feeling other then friendship. And she started to panic.

Any sms or news of him will send her hair tingling with hidden excitement. No one but her little sister knows. Finally the day come where he offered to take down notes to help her failing math examination. It means they have to meet up. She was shy but curious at the same time, so she agreed.

His tuition centre was near her house. The supermarket in between was the agreed meet up point.

She walked down from her house 5 minutes before the agreed time and had the longest doubt in her heart. Filled with thoughts of calling it off because she is afraid of what he may think of her.

She was walking towards the main entrance of supermarket as he stepped out coincidentally and saw her. He wave and start to walk towards her as he lift the files of notes that he promised to pass her.

She, in shock, feeling lost, clueless about how to react, decided to make a run for it.

She didn’t look back as she run. God knows why, instead of running far far and away, she ran into the supermarket and hide in a corner. He is probably stupefied but realized she is just like a scared little puppy, decided to look for her.

As he was walking around looking, she received an sms from him saying “Don’t need hide la, I saw you liao”

She was so embarrassed but still didn’t dare to show herself. She sent an sos sms to her sister forgetting that calling up was probably the faster way. Her sister came looking for him.

*taps on shoulder* “the file ler??” the sister asked.

The file of notes was passed to her sister instead.

He was probably stupefied but enjoying the funny moments too.

The sister probably labeled her “lousy.

She was saved because he is almost late for tuition.

Luckily for her, he didn’t see her tomato face at that time.

Let me ask. What is the difference between a sandwich in 1/8 of a bread slice size, with toothpick on it. And a sandwich ½ of a bread slice size without toothpick on it. But both are made from the same ingredients, both fresh.

To me, it is nothing more than just the size of the sandwich. One of them is bite size which I usually prefer, coz it simply means lesser mess. Probably 50 cents worth of toothpicks on those 3 plates of bite size sandwich I would say.

You see….

There was an event. People stepping into the premises out of curiosity, the event came with refreshments and as expected, many who love to have free things (not ashamed to say, someone like me), would come by to pick up some edibles. That bite size sandwich was on one of the trays positioned nicely on the row of tables. I love that thinly sliced cucumber I can hardly manage to master even on the 6^th time I try making sandwiched.

Event Staff: Hi, welcome, please feel free to look around and have some snacks if you like.

Random Lady: Wah, nvm, it’s ok, I very poor one, eat sandwich is use hand eat those normal ones, your’s all so nice so high class, not for me lar. Got tooth pick somemore.hahaha

Event Staff: How about some drinks for you then?

Random Lady: wah nvm nvm, your glass all so nice so high class, and I don’t know how to appreciate all those things also, nvm la.. hahaha

Event Staff: I see, haha. Well feel free to look around then. Just let me know if you need any help. -_-

Upon hearing that, my brain starts wondering…

Is there any high class toothpick around in this world that I am unaware of, selling in expensive shops, the toothpick is made of some famous rare species of tree that is near extinction?

OR

There is a special scissors or knife, cost $2000 USD each that gives a wonderfully delicious out of this world taste when used to cut sandwiches.

OR

Is there even anything I can do a sandwich to make it lower class or higher class? Ok, Maybe if i put a thick layer of foie gras in some of the sandwich.

The thing is....

I can never fail to understand when someone chose to go kopitiam, instead of coffee bean, or when anyone have their daily meals at hawker, instead of fast food. Or when people chose to hang around at a friend’s house for a movie, instead of joyful drinking at the clubs/pubs.

But I really do not understand the difference between a bite size sandwich with toothpick on it and a normal size sandwich without toothpick on it from a financial status point of view.

To me, it’s free! Not expired! Quite refreshing, and I especially like bite size with toothpick coz it won’t create a mess on my hand. Eat it. Do you really have to show everyone that you have 10 cents lesser then the rest of the people around therefore you’re the special one that is unworthy of a SANDWICH? Which is free for all???

If you’re really as poor as you say you are, shouldn’t you be happy that you got free sandwich?? Or anything at all? I would be! Although I am not starving poor, I do enjoy free things in life. If not, I will just give it to someone who would enjoy whatever I have that I don’t enjoy.

or actually, should I say, what has financial status got to do with being unworthy or not when it comes to food. You are only unworthy when you think you are... I would just think I am lucky when something unexpectedly pleasant comes my way, gladly accept it.

Why can’t they be like the rest of the people, who would be more than happy getting four free bottles of sprite home although it might have been given coz it is out of gas in the first place. We can make ice pop out of it!

I seriously don’t get it.

Ok, now! Who will give me a free desktop which can play some graphic heavy games without lag. I don’t need one so good actually, but I don’t mind extra ^^

What happen was, my cousin called me early in the morning at 10 + although I slept very late last night. I let the 1^st call miss not knowing who called. But the 2^nd time it rang I thought it might be urgent. So I picked it up. Indeed, it turned out to be, an SOS call from my cousin. On her way to school near by her residence she saw two dogs one big one small who seems lost and wandering around a few building. She feel sad for them and stayed for a while noticing how they keep running towards ever huge vehicle that pass by. Lorries, trucks etc, upon sight, they just dash across the road chasing and barking at those vehicles like nobody’s business. They are really a handful as it is quite hard to calm them down. Best part is, there are 2 of them. One is already a handful, with 2… Well, you can imagine.

So I did what a cousin should do. I didn’t know the situation till I reach the location, but I thought maybe some food will tame them down enough to bring them home. So I went to cold storage with my just woke up look. Asked for some boxes and bought some dog food and water. Head towards to the location and look for my cousin.

Found her but no dogs were seen. It seems they went pass some hole and my cousin couldn’t get them. Some kind resident of the building let her into the building in search for dogs though. Took about half an hour + - before she find them and bring them to me. I sacrifice the dog food and I am quite satisfied when they are willing to eat. I thought they should be somehow tamed by then. I was wrong. Upon the sign of the next truck, it jumped out of the box and went barking away.. chasing the truck… both the dogs. My cousin somehow brought them back again and I manage to somehow “lock” them in the box.

The female one was quite unfriendly and active though. Growling away etc, while the male seems to have given in to what fate has for him. One thing interesting bout them is, where ever the male goes, the female will follow. Definitely, without fail. When we realize that, we leashed the male with some random strap my cousin has and brought him with us. As my cousin expected, the female just followed. One thing that is quite disturbing is how the female kept trying to put her you know where, on the male’s face. I kind of guessed what might be going on but I didn’t really just conclude it that way…

It proves me right when I was sitting at the balcony bonding with them. They just… went all the way, from fore playing to what comes after fore playing to the climax and suspense and everything. Me and my cousin just sat at the living room, looking through the balcony glass door, and frowning our eyebrows with disgust. Actually I was half laughing 50% of the time la. But can’t help the disgusted feeling too. I thought usually male are the ones who initiate this whole thing but this is the other way round… and the female wouldn’t stop “playing” around the male until he do something about her you know where. Talking about this feels like my blog has just been stained, but it’s too much of a sight not to blog it down. I will try to put something beautiful on the next post to neutralize the effect. No promise though.

The female finally stop growling at me and my cousin for a while after the whole action ends. Maybe too tired, but I heard that it bit my cousin while I was at work. My cousin tried to ask her to sit and such. She growls and bites. I tried the friendly way of approach, I am not sure if it worked, but at least she didn’t growl at me any longer, and she didn’t bite.

Thinking of putting up a few posters for anyone who wants to adopt. But I am reconsidering. Until now they seem quite alright, might be toilet trained. I am not sure, but if they are, I might consider keeping them. Provided no one wants to adopt.

This is not the 1^st time I brought home lost dogs. But never once I am the one who finds them. Once, was my ex, now, my cousin. Whose next?

Tears In Heaven

Would you know my name

If I saw you in heaven?
Would it be the same
If I saw you in heaven?

I must be strong
And carry on,
'Cause I know I don't belong
Here in heaven.

Would you hold my hand
If I saw you in heaven?
Would you help me stand
If I saw you in heaven?

I'll find my way
Through night and day,
'Cause I know I just can't stay
Here in heaven.

Time can bring you down,
Time can bend your knees.
Time can break your heart,
Have you begging please, begging please.

Beyond the door,
There's peace I'm sure,
And I know there'll be no more
Tears in heaven.

Would you know my name
If I saw you in heaven?
Would it be the same
If I saw you in heaven?

I must be strong
And carry on,
'Cause I know I don't belong
Here in heaven.

What kind of person are you? Or to put it simpler, what do you do when you are stuck in the middle of nowhere, with time on your hand.

Those people who loves music so much would take out their mp3 player, and enjoy the rhythm or the beat of the songs or music they prefer.

There are those people who couldn’t stay quiet for a minute and would take out their phone to call up someone, anyone. As long as it is someone he can speak to.

Also, there are those people who like to take out a scrap book out of nowhere and pen or a pencil, start drawing the things they see in front of them, or the things that they’ve been drawing halfway since maybe a week ago.

Some simply look for the nearest retail outlet to shop around.

There are many other types around too.

For me, shopping around is one of my preferred choice. Especially when I am in town for that purpose but waiting for company to arrive, the mood is just there.

For the rest of the other time though, like in the bus, waiting for train, waiting for food to arrive at my table, etc. When I am alone, I like to at the things around me. It is of course, always the same. The same place I eat everyday during lunch break, the same window with the same view. The same kind of sunlight and mild heat, that touches my skin when I sit by the window.

Although everything is the same, the things that come to my mind are somewhat different every day. It is nothing about creativity. It is just plain imagination, and probably a bit of playfulness.

Sometimes I was wondering, if the river down there is as clean and blue as a pool’s water. Wouldn’t it be nice if people can swim there on their way to work or on their way home after work? Having a few of those plastic adjustable sun tan chairs around, and maybe a mini bar for refreshments too.

Sometimes I will be thinking, if the same river brings a tsunami in. (although impossible) How many people would die there? Will it reach the kopitiam? Will anyone get electrocuted because of the amount of electricity there is in a shopping mall, and water happens to be a good conductor of electricity. Would there be more people that will flood to death, or would there be more that will be electrocuted to death. Or actually, they’ll all die upon the impact of tsunami itself, no time for drowning.

At times there are other different kinds of thoughts that flood through my mind like a comic flash. Some are better left unsaid.

And what if, the moon comes out in the day, and the sun at night. Out of the logic way, the sun is the dim light with enough heat to feel comfortable at night. And the moon is a satellite that gives you a slight cooling touch when the moonlight shines upon you. How nice.

If shooting starts are not stones but a bunch of silvery powdery substance, and one day it hits the river at Clarke quay, filling up the whole river with the silver substance. Making it shine so much that vivid pictures can be taken from one of those satellites floating around our planet. How beautiful.

There are so many, so many thoughts that pass through my mind each day. I haven’t got time to write it down. Some beautiful, some not so, some delightful, some refreshing, and some seriousness too. Most of the time, I quickly forget about them. If only my memory capacity is infinite. I would really like to draw all these scenes I’ve imagine down. That is of coz, if I have the ability to draw nicely in the first place.

So now you know. Sometimes when I look space out in the middle of anything, my mind is running wild again…

Many times, people mistook this look on my face as unfriendly or unapproachable. I am really just spacing out…

Have you tried standing in another person’s shoe? I bet u did. It was one of the “understanding” action people would take when they see a point. It is good, and it is something that everyone encourages you to do.

After standing in his shoe, what do you do? You walk with his shoe. It is definitely not as easy to do. Most of the time, you do not have enough time to spare, to make the walk worth it. So to spare your time…

The next time, before you try standing in another person’s shoe, take some time to make sure that you have the same foot size as the person. If you do not share the same feet size, you can try standing in his shoe, feel a little bit of what he felt wearing it. It might seem a bit tight, or a bit loose. Doesn’t matter, you seems to have a clue on how he feels. That is enough for you.

If you want to reach his thoughts more, you might walk with that shoe that doesn’t exactly fit you. All you feel is pain and anguish while walking up that slope on a sunny day. Without being able to comprehend what other things he might have felt when walking with the same pair of shoes, you are already blinded by the inconvenience the shoe has given you.

It seems a rather stupid thing to do to be forgetting that you don’t have the same foot size as him. In real life though, isn’t that what a lot of people have been forgetting?

Putting aside your own interest and trying to understand others. It is the kind thing to do. But because we are taught this way since young, most of us didn’t give it a second thought before jumping into it.

What we get might not be the best result. Instead, assumptions naturally come out from what you feel from that same pair of shoe the person has been walking with, but what he felt was different. Is any of you wrong?