Nag Chapter -

Warning, not for people with little patience

Remember when you’re younger? Say about a decade ago, you find certain things cool, fun, exciting, can’t live without and etc.. the excitement won’t stop coming, coz everywhere u turn, everywhere u look, there is nothing that bores u.

Lately I’ve been thru quite a boring phase of life, maybe its because I feel tired of everything, maybe its because nothing seems new, maybe its because I just am unsatisfied with the way I am now, simply put – everything is stale.

Suddenly I can’t help but wonder, what is life all about exactly? Of coz I know that if you don expect things to happen, almost nothing could disappoint you. But what is life without expectation. I expect my daughter to be in express stream when she is in secondary school. I expect my daughter to be a person who knows her way of life.

See the difference? Sometimes different kind of expectation can bring up a person with a healthy mentality, yet some expectation may lead a person’s life to doubt and confusion.

It’s a wonder how one person can affect another throughout the enter life. And you know what? This is just about less then 1% of the things that are flying thru my mind right now.

There is also another thing that has been flowing thru and fro my mind. Let bygones be bygones. This is a phrase that is so simple, just 4 words, yet its so hard to comprehend and applying into ur life. And its not that no one in this world is kind enough to do that, its just everyone prefers to go into the once bitten twice shy mentality.

“ he did that to me before, he must be someone with bad intentions, how can I forget it, I must do something about it. Its fair! If I don’t he might do the same thing again next time, and who is going to pay for my lost? ”

Isn’t this phrase familiar, if not the phrase at least the mentality behind it is familiar. Where ever you go, whatever u do, there will be people around you with this kind of thinking.

I once heard from my cousin a Chinese phrase “害人之心不可有，防人之心不可无。” It means you must not have the will to harm or hurt someone, yet you must not lack the awareness of people that might bring harm to you. Ok fine, my translation sarks, but you get the idea don’t you. But it seems in practical life, the phrase most people endorse is “伤我者必等我复，意我者不坏好心” it’s a phrase I invented but its not hard to understand, those who do wrong unto me shall be rewarded with my vengeance, those who treats me well are just people with alter motive.

Almost everything around me are this way,

“I didn’t do anything bad to him, I was just being sarcastic. I didn’t physically harm her, I was just saying things that will hurt her deep down and under. They deserve it! They are such and such type of people, why should you stop me from doing so and so.. its not worth it..”

Maybe even though there are many different side to every story, sometimes it isn’t enough to cover what bad one person may do. But what good does it do to pull off some cheap tricks to put off someone who did something bad, to you or to others. Of coz, other then satisfying a tiny part of your ego which no one would really admit, any amount of little actions you do will not satisfy you enough to finally stop “returning his favour” one day, isn’t it? So why? Is it hate?

I believe hate is born with a person. Its inbuilt. Its natural. Its an instinct. I hate milk, I hate school, I hate poverty,I hate my mum cos she canes me, I hate this and that. Just like any other bad characteristics a person may be. But as a person grow, they grow to learn and understand more things. They learn why not to hate. They slowly understand the reason not to hate. And should one day not be able to find a reason to hate anymore.. Coz they live long enough to see many reason why they shouldn’t hate. And what hate can bring you, Its never something good. To understand that, Isn’t it part of growing up. Things like greed, hate, jealousy, etc. they are instinct and inbuilt in most people as early as they know they are an individual living in this world. Coz without it, they can’t survive.

So people grow up learning to survive with lesser of this bad points. Only then will they be truly happy.

Done with nagging

Okies, I don’t even know why I type the whole passage up there, no one even offended me. It just came across my mind like an whoosh. And now I am done nagging. I am off to sleep…