Saturday, December 30
I've been thru quite a lot of changes since i've last blogged, not me specifically but my life in general... been thru a heart warming wedding of my friend viki-her getting married is one of the happiest thing i could have wished happened to her, and she did it! she was beautiful on that day, but seeing her getting married, well i am not her mother, but as she pour the champaign down all the pyramid glasses. i felt so happy i almost cried, but of coz i would have been crazy to have really cried so i just told myself exactly that and manage to stop that 1st drop of tears to fall. i was the bridesmaid, -mark the word "maid" in the bridesmaid- i was exactly the full time maria on the day for her. just a bit unsure of what to do etc.. but still , everything went on quite smoothly. and i was the receptionist at night, pretty much useless though coz everyone seems to know everyone there.. and the receptionist job was not much more then stuffing red packets into the "Treasure box" and somehow a picture was taken when i was happily stuffing them looking like the red packets are all mine. ^^
I was having a bit of fun and a lil too happy to try and look good on camera and thats how i ended up looking like , a total candid shot with me smiling like a retard. congratz to me!
well other then the really heart warming day... which i felt from my friend...
i myself... fell in luv with a special certain guy... the "moo" of my blog.. how should i put it.. not the heart racing, blood gushing love, but a calm peaceful and gentle type of feeling... its the 1st time i had such a feelings and he has been treating me well.. until now ^^ , well .. as my close friends all know.. my past relationships or the targets i fall in luv with was never someone i could really rely on.. neither were they someone who treats me like they should have treated me.. and coz of that, i've never dared dream that i could be treated like the way i am now..with respect, with luv and with understanding and care. it almost seems like a package, although it too comes with the painfully loud snoring almost everynight, but even the snores sounds ironically sweet, coz i know in the morning when i wake up, i am not alone. how am i suppose to describe something that came to me without me wishing on it, neither was i expecting it. too good to be true? i guess i am really slowly falling more into love.But just like any other troubled girls out there, there are still questions yet to have an answer floating in my mind and pumping in my heart. I guess this too comes with the package... a bit of a gamble in here.. but a lot of lil joys to be felt..
just kinda afraid of getting used to this package, as u all know, good offers often comes with a lot of fineprints.. we shall see...
Tuesday, December 12
Pink Day
Yeah yeah yeah , i haven't been blogging for 5 days.. quite a few things happen this few days.. hhmm i guess the most life changing one is ..... (lets leave it for later and talk about today 1st)
went simlim to chose a desktop for my cousin , but there is quite some requirement to the desktop he is chosing. so i asked my brother for suggestion, instead of suggestion, he came down to help instead. All the way. chose the coms specs.. and went off. i realised the specs he chose is more or less something i would have chosen other thent he graphic card and motherboard. he prefers asus , i prefers g.byte. other then that , its more or less the same.
Well talking about my brother, i always think he is prolly a nice person , just way to log-brained and way to much of a discipline person . straight, not flexible.. emotionless but all in all more to the yasashi type. all along in my mind i think he is someone who is willing to help people and blah blah blah. even emotionless but moral or theory based thinking, he would. but today, i've seen him in action. we hardly talk to each other, and i wouldn't even call that a communication. today we've exchanged the most number of words compared to all these years before today added together.. i had a sense of acomplishment for some reason . i don know what it will lead to, good things or bad things... come what may... these lil things are kept in my heart. or.. maybe.. i am just too much of a worrier... am i ? anyway, skipping all the stupid things i have in mind. i have to head back down to sim lim again tml , so i can hopefully collect my cousin's desktop which is supposedly to have some technical problem on the builder's side. pray that everything is alright so i don have to make decisions again ..>.<
so my friend's wedding is on friday.. i've gotten myself a nice pair of earrings but no matching necklace to go with. the only free day i have to shop for it will be on thursday.. and along with the necklace i have to shop for "equipments" for the wedding day itself.. its kinda bit in a rush but well.. what more do u expect from someone who always always leave things undone until the last minute. at least most of the time i still get it done.
from here on, shall i continue with the content which was suppose to be posted right on top? maybe i should.
well... hhmmmm for years i've been struggling with emotional stuffs.. bit here and there.. i mean , who won't? but now i found someone who treats me well... he has been mentioned in my blog a few times before with the label "cow"
someone who is more then willing to let me lie on his arms days in a row when sleeping at night
even though he knows he wont be in the comfy position..
someone who will get me medications for all the lil stuff that doesn't really hurts..
someone who gives in to me when i look at him smiling
someone who thinks he isn't good enough for me
someone who is stupid to have done all the things above.. but definitely worth the appreciation for all he has done.
damn, i am good at words...am i ?
just that these things seems too good to be true..and somehow i always always believed that good things won last. a bit hard to make myself believe this will.. but it doesn't really matter since i am taking one step at a time, and time will always prove everything, it never fails me. but a non-single life is really quite different, not sure if i can get use to it, not to mention there is a whole load of other things i have in mind... messy messy messy.... but it makes life a whole lot more colorful , in the end its still good..
Thursday, December 7
BewareOfTheWaterMelonSeed
the reason why its titled this way will be shown later.... enjoy ur trip..
last day of work today so decided to take a photo with my partner of the day, she is Jess, a mother of one, same age as my younger brother, born in the year of tiger. very kind person . unable to stand untidiness, but always smile wherever she goes, her smiling face is something
i think i gonna miss. she looks cuter in real life, whilst i am the opposite haha. i did bad sales today , thats because i found out i won't get any commission if i don't complete a month's full of schedule. and naturally i let her take more deals so she can have her commission while i help along with it. she asked me not to, but i still just did it subconsciously haha, at least she didn't notice.
she is one of the steamboat buffet musketeers for the night.
the whole day during work , all we had in mind is how to eat lesser so we can have a fantastic steamboat tonight. well but all were in vain coz i still had my usual ebi rice burger from mos burger. haha, greedy me. well i decided to give them a treat tonight since i am the one leaving, but one by one told me if i am paying, they're not going. in the end i sadly accepted the way it is... even till the last min i still offered to pay but they just shove the notes to me..
anyway....
we finish off our job in a hurry but got delayed by some slow deals. went straight down to bugis to meet another colleage of mine. help her with the shop closing since its a new girl who is with her today, and things prolly went a bit slower. it reminds me of how i was new to this place before, and how clueless i was. but today i went down as one of the regulars, just a quitting one, hohoho. but nevertheless, it feels good to be a senior when it feels like u know a lot of things and u can be "yaya" yet kind and pleasent.
after everything we took sometime to decide which steamboat we should go for, decided on tian tian steamboat coz thats a place all of us had heard of but none has tried. i would say the steamboat there is pretty alright, normal, varity of food is not better then the others, the mouth watering soup which we've heard of is not THAT fantastic either, the only thing good about anything there is the beef/pork fillet which was sliced so thinly that it resembles those fillets from shabu shabu, just without the sauce. of coz, not forgetting the air conditioned room.
tonight, i don't know if its cause i am leaving or its just that they got to know me more. they seems to find me a nice target to tease. the whole night they're talking about how my reaction is sometimes too fast and sometimes too slow. how i luv to shake my legs both when sitting and standing, how i always do weird things which they can't comprehend. and how dreamy/blur i am, at work and at anywhere else. they made the night a laughing hell for me and thats where the watermelon seed comes in.
well my cough haven't really stop yet, so i was half coughing and half laughing all the way. until at a point of time when we all had a basketball size of tummy. eating the watermelon as desserts to help digesting. the laughing trip when over the top when i choke on the watermelon seed while laughing, the cough was so hard that while sitting down , i bend down and cough cough cough PUKE. i puke out, as in really the vomit kind. liquid burst out from my stumach upwards to my mouth and out of it but my reaction was fast this time, i use my hand as a plunger and stop the semi-liquid from flowing out of my mouth and raaan to the toilet. Jess followed behind me and rub my back thinking my cough was so bad that i had vomitted. but i was too busy laughing and cleaning up before telling her its just the stupid watermelon seed.and yes i was still laughing while cleaning up at the sink. she can't stand me " don laugh le la.. blah blah yada yada" lol...
The Moral of the Story : Do not underestimate a watermelon seed. It will overturn your dinner.
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ok thats lame... skip!
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well that was one of the happiest dinner i've had for a long time. its not a romantic candle light dinner with the loved ones , neither is it some celebration for winning a lottery. but the time we spent together tonight was a night to remember. i will miss them, and for sure i will visit them, i am not really that sweet nice or emotional. the work place just happen to be near my house. haha. but yeah.. will miss them.. definitely...
came back home and talked to someone for hours. someone whom have been playing a different role in my life lately. some confusion.. some unsaid thoughts. but the air is all cleared and i am glad. won be leaking too much details about this yet. until everything goes in place *wink*
Tuesday, December 5
tml is my last day of work in 田 . Been slightly less then 2 months since i started working there, quite a ride i would say, its been a long time i haven't got a proper job before i started working there, in that period of time i got kinda adjusted to working lifestyle. especially when its the long working hours in retails.. i am forced to adjust. well at least since i know i can survive working hours like these. i am definitely able to survive office working hours. putting this aside, since its my last day tml , my colleages decided to go have a big steamboat buffet again . 4 girls, on a glutanious food trip. its the $15 dollar buffet thingy, and i decided to make it my treat tomorrow since i am the one leaving. none of them know about it yet though . i am just gonna let them find out tml when the bill comes. i can't wait for the buffet. yum yum. one of the colleage haven't seen me in buffet action before, so she's definitely gonna get shock tml. most people who sees me eats a buffet the 1st time would normally get a shock. Be warned, i have big appetite. My tummy is the evidence.
got an unexpected sms from my sis today , a bad news about one of my friend in melbourne. seems that she had an emotional break down lately, and i've heard nothing about it, until today. i would have been able to bring her out for a drink or something if i were in melbourne or if she's in singapore . another one of my friends being hurt by the male species of human beings. isn't there any proper ones out there? helllooo?? do u hear me? *geez* no reply, all the good ones are dead aren't they?
well, at every certain point of time , people are bound to get lonely, feel like they need a permanent company, hopes tat someone can share with them a lot of things they have in life. but sometimes it just came to my mind this way, is it really worth the risk of being hurt or hurting others just to fulfil the lacking of companionship. At some point of time, it really does seems tempting to just fall into the temporary sense of happiness. Some people just tried very hard to hold on to themselves and not get involve. Me? i do get lonely sometimes too, but i am enjoying and appreciating everything i have right now as it is, not thinking too much, not moving too fast, but definitely moving .... slowly.
there is a limit to everything, just like there is a limit to the amount i can blog today coz i have to wake up early tml for an earlier shift. haha especially when i gonna have a fantastic meal tml night. wish me luck for my last day of sales and hope i am able to eat more then the $'s worth of food.
Sunday, December 3
this is an early morning blog for last nights event.
as usual saturday, luckily work till a 4 pm shift. went home straight after doing some xtra stuff and have a nice fresh bath, met zg for an overnight cycling. generally it was a fun ride, we had dinner 1st, at a nice cozy lil bar.something like the one i went with my best friend on thursday night, just that this is by the sea. being broke and almost penniless, we had only beer to order from any other alcoholic drinks to chose from. Its a shame coz looking at the list of cocktails, i really felt like trying them out even though i know my purse will be emptied, i will go there again one of these days, just for the cocktails this time.
It was my 1st time riding bicycle overnight, it was charged at $12, overnighter, pretty good price although the bicycle made some funny noise here and there. we made a lot of stops for smokes, went to the water ski thingy, the bedok jetty,oh yeah, the moon that time was splendid. somehow there is this wide ring around the moon that looks like a full circle rainbow. it was like a fantasy, those that u only see in movies with elfs and fairies. not to mention the air at night was really wonderful, cooling, fresh. the smell of trees and grass just makes me feels heavenly. I am not much of a nature person but living in a city like singapore, that smell once a while really relax oneself totally.
on the whole i think there are bout 2 not so good incident. nothing serious, just part of things that are bound to happen when u don't know how to ride a bike properly, and when you're afraid of 6 legged black oval things with triangular head and sometimes wings.
i was talking to zg while on a bike thinking i am already quite stable but the curb in the middle of the road appear out of nowhere, probably didn't see it and bump. fell down. no injuries expect some skin tear and blue black, but i luv all those eitherway , peeling the skins and pressing the blue blacks. Don't u just luv the feeling?
another time was when i was off the bike, there is a freaking roach on the floor, very near me! it was like the size of a 50 cents coins, freaking huge, i didn't even know if it could fly and i didn't wanna know. i wanted to scream and run but i was holding on to the bike , if i did run the bike would have fall off, who knows if it would still be in one piece when i return it. so i had to hold on to the bike and walk one big round the bike to avoid the roach. good it ran into the grass and out of my sight. for a while after that, i had doubts of lying on the grass. but one thing came after another, that incident found its way to the back of my mind.
and 0h yeah , the 3rd thing is , well... i was trying hard to keep my balance and not to fall off the bike and etc etc etc.... zg's mobile rang, but he just ask me to go 1st. i did, but after a while , still struggling with the bicycle. i thought i might have went too far for him to catch up to. so i went off the bike and looked behind. there he was, happily chatting on phone and riding the bike, and look at me with a cheeky face and rode off. A fine example of a classic cow ass. 101 methods of killing a cow just came up my mind right that instant. ggrr..
after a while of fun riding. we found a good peaceful spot to lie down on the grass at , but the grass was kinda wet, looked around for things to put on the grass, end up finding a huge plastic wrap thing, enough for at least 3 person . but the tree leafs was kinda blocking the view of the moon and stars.
so after a light supper, we change a diff spot, this time there are no trees blocking, the sky is almost all without our sight, the moon is clear and the stars are seenable. with this kind of scenery, a clean big plastic wrap to lie on, the cool sea breeze and the nice fresh air, what could one feel like doing other then sleep. i was already thinking of a pillow then, zg magically made a pillow out of the excess plastic wraps. but only for one person use. poor him had to lie his head ont he hard grass floor. well i offered, and we shared the "pillow" but somewhere in the middle of the night. i was half asleep so i don remember what really happen, but the pillow magically turned into a one man pillow again.
The smart smart cow who remembered to remind me to bring a jacket coz its gonna be cold at night, didn't get a jacket for himself. so i thought maybe he could withstand the chill at night. but just to make sure, over the night i did ask him a few times if he's cold, he refuse to say yes, only early in the morning when the night gone by, he was telling me how cold he was... freezing and i am beside enjoying my jacket and pillow. am i evil or is he just too "smart" ? tell me.
we're woken up by a bit of morning drizzle, took shelter at a nearby eating place. and went riding for mac donalds breakfast. been quite a while since i had mac donalds breakfast, it was nice and warming. but even when we finish eating, the bicycle shop haven't begin their day. had to wait a while on benches by the sea, the wind made me sleepy, somehow i just fell asleep on zg. haha didn't know i can sleep sitting, but today i found out.
Saturday, December 2
Add On
So the world is full of politics, everywhere, in the governement, in the companies, in schools, everywhere, even in some families.. my brain is reasonably good enough to know that everywhere u go, u can't avoid one of those things. but still, my poor brain is not good enough to hold the wool together so i can walk pass those things unaffected.
Been a long time since I've had a proper job, not necessarily promising, but something enough for me to survive, also to learn something new. The last job i've had before this was a few years back, looooong few years, definitely when i was still quite young, who cares about politics then? If you get along with me, you're my friend, if not, you're none of my concern, say whatever you want and do whatever you want, i won't get affected coz i have my own bunch of friends. That was then. Now, for some reason, i've lost the courage to ignore what people think about me, more or less words that comes out of people's mouth and things they do that relates to me will bring me to thinking, why would they do this, or that. Why would they think this way about me? Why would they want to put me in disadvantages so they can get the little benifits that isn't even worth mentioning. Its amazing how i can say "the world is just this way, can't expect the best of everything, can't expect simplicity, can't expect it to be like a fairyland" yet till now, i can't comprehend why must people take advantages of others if they have a chance to, not all, but its safe to say 90% of people do. where did the meaning of the phrase " you feel happy youself ,when you help another person" goes to. Did it die at the very corner of our generation where everyone live for themselves?
Just a 5 Cents
Friday, December 1
Since monday i've been having quite a bad cough. the type that people will start pitying u after watching u cough for like 4ever... but everything still goes quite normally, i am not really physically handicapped to do anything i need to do at work other then coughing non stop. but on wednesday morning when i woke up... hohohohoho ... the cough really really couldn't stop and my eyes turn red and full of tears, not like i am crying or anything, there is even nothing to be sad of, but the hard cough was just about to kill me, i had to call up my boss and tell him i can't go for work that day.
made and appointment with the clinic, pursued my cousin to go to the clinic with me.
was told i "gan mao le" (got a cold) or something, and given me some medicines.
since then until thursday noon, all i did was eat medicine, sleep, wake up, meal, eat medicine, sleep.
see the routine? i hate to sleep all day long coz it surely makes me fat, but the effect of the medicine is just too... eh... irritating.. it knock off my brain totally.even if i don't sleep, i almost couldn't do anything else, i feel like a kuku-brained person bout half and hour after i took the medicines. i hardly get sick, and now i remembered y i hate it.
if not because of my friend's early birthday celebration, i would have sleep till late night and till friday morning straight. so there we go , went out at bout 9 pm , suppose to meet them at 9 30 but since i am taking a cab i figured it should be alright leaving house at 9, but somehow or rather, the cab that night does'nt seems to like me or as if i am some kinda invisible woman. for 45 minutes i am trying to flag for a cab but they just refuse to stop. nearly called for a cab myself but last minute some nice cabby decided to save this poor girl from her misery. its not a nice feeling waiting for cab in a half stoned mode after medication blah blah blah...
we went to this place called erm...diva billa, dibavilla, villa valli ok , nvm, its Villa Bali. a nice and cozy place, not the usual down town pub etc.. it has a rather wild feel to it.
( Me & my best friend Pamela, know her in year 1999, when i dropped from Express Class to Normal Class in secondary 3. An innocent looking girl who is really full of crapz, though she always thinks i am the one who made her what she is today. Thats just a lie to cover up her inner crappy self. )
its a nice place to relax and talk about a lot of lame things, cold jokes, laugh at stupid ideas and just shit from your mouth. had a lot of fun time yesterday, sometimes its nice to go out with crappy friends so u can release all the tension u got during work. although they're a bunch of craps but i am starting to appreciate them more and more lol.
had a couple of cocktails there, good range to chose from i would say, not many places in Singapore u can find such a varity of cocktails in the menu. we took lots of photos, but i only posted 1 up, coz for some reason , its either the medication that made my face swell or i slept too much. my face really swell up like a fishball, and it looks just so too ugly to be seen in public. especially when i am the inphotogenic kind. was kinda dissapointed tat i look like a fishball when i was wearing a new dress i bought. aaaaaww... i feel the pinch...
so today, friday. finally gone back to work. still coughing but not as much. time seems to pass quite fast today. had fun with this colleage of mine , although bad sales again ,i don't know if its coz the medication which made my brain go haywire to a point i am not tense up about the bad individual sales, or its just that i am quitting soon , therefore not having a single concern about what the boss thinks of me. which one is it? hhmm i prefer to think that i am the 1st type. am i am i am i ?
i hope that tomorrow's weather will be good, coz i am going for an overnighter cycling most likely. after work , can't wait. never ride a bicycle overnight before. i wonder how its like. the night wind, the street lamps. the russling tree leafs. the sea breeze. aaaaaww if there's a sky full of stars it would be better. a can of beer and a packet of peanuts would make it perfect. hohohohoho
